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FOCUSE! ~Hilmar (2010)

Tonight, I went to play pool with Lisa and Lorraine. I did what Hilmar had taught me, i.e. focsuing on the pool while playing instead of thinking how I was supposed to do.

I did not totally focuse on the pool all the time, I mean, I still tried to figure out how I could pot the balls sometimes. However, when I focused, I could sometimes sense the line existing through the pocket, cue ball, objective ball, and myself. I could correct my stroke depending on the line, and most of time the objective ball was potted.

Like Hilmar said, we could not know whether the ball would be potted before we stroke. The uncertainty would make me feel anxious, and the easiest way to get rid of the anxious feeling is to stroke immediately. Most of those kind strokes would fail due to poor focuse. Hence, learning to face and deal with the anxiety is my new lesson.

I think I would feel anxiety under uncertain situation, because in my mind I hope I could pot the ball. If I do not make it, I fail to be the ideal self. BUT, maybe there is not supposed to have an ideal self in the very beinging, because the one staies in the moment is the REAL me.

I tried to figure out the soultion to the anxiety in perspective of mindfulness, but it seemed not so convincing. I konw that means I need to learn more.