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作者：Anderson cooper

有人戲稱它是頂上的鹽巴與胡椒，有人則認為它是沈穩的表現。但面對事實吧：你是少年白。

好消息是：你不會因為頭髮灰白就顯得老氣。只要你不要它留得像Phil Donahue就好了。

長白髮就像射精一樣。就算你已經知道它可能會提早發生，但在真的發生了的當頭，還是晴天霹靂。

我在二十歲前都還是棕髮。之後開始逐漸灰白。

在十五年後的今天，灰白髮像被某種突變黑色素病毒附身般，大舉對我進攻，現在完全地佔領了我的頂上。

我至今還是拒絕接受我已白髮蒼蒼的事實。那些在我頭上的鹽巴與胡椒們，我會把你們通通挑出來。

是的，我即將要告別灰髮。我們看到的一切都是幻覺。我在發神經。別太認真。

你知道嗎？傳說中佛祖在決定修行的當天，他開始長白髮。他曾說，白髮是死神派來的天使。

譯文提到，長灰髮是大自然在小聲地提醒你「死期不遠了。」

我或許不喜歡我灰…應該說，我頂上有鹽椒的模樣，但我不能理直氣壯地說它對我有任何傷害。

在電視新聞業裡，有灰髮代表資深。事實上，無論在各行各業中，能提早有頭灰髮是有好處的。

一個有灰髮的傢伙說，「我成熟、穩重。我值得眾人依賴。」想想George W. Bush。

甚至在聖經裡也說，灰髮是頂榮耀的皇冠。格言裡也說到，灰髮是認真生活後的果實。

少年白代表著你提早享受著認真生活後的成果，省去真正付出的步驟。比別人早一步達成目標。想想這是多麼地走運。但另一方面，女性同胞就沒有那麼好運了。

上次在電影裡看到灰髮的性感女星是多久以前？別說是Rogue and Storm，她們只活在卡通世界裡。

身為媒體影像顧問的Diane Harris說，太不公平了，男人只要看到女生有灰髮就認定她們是歐巴桑。

我的女性友人Cathy在三十出頭髮色開始轉灰。她雖然迷人且事業有成，但沒有男人靠過來想一親芳澤。

Cathy說，男人反射性地把我想成是腳踏伯肯鞋、反合併的愛貓人士。他們的看我的眼神說明了一切。

想當然，從此Cathy不再以灰髮示人。

確實，男人的情況是大大的不同。我不知道怎麼會這樣，但灰髮的男性總是能迷倒眾生。

想想Bill Clinton。一頭的大灰髮，縱使肚子裡滿是肥油，他仍舊有個專門送披薩給他的白宮實習生。

在外面的世界有太多特殊癖好的人，只要被盯上了，他們就會以迷戀又興奮的眼神看著你那白子般的頭髮。

還有一件事是在你有灰髮時會發生的。你會注意每個頭髮灰白的傢伙。

這是樣的反應呼應了達爾文的生存競爭理論：一股主動注意其他競爭者的需求。

它會惡化成某種偏執。有一陣子，每次我遇到Phil Donahue，我都會告訴我自己：好險，我還沒白的像他一樣。

提醒Phil一下：對Snow Miser來說，澎鬆的白髮還算適合。但再次強調，卡通世界的人物不在討論範圍。

在髮色轉變之際，要切記的是：不要留長。一留長，看起來就會像Peter, Paul & Mary樂團的管理員一樣。這不你是樂見的。

你當然也可以去髮廊染髮。很多人都這麼做，但如果你想問我的選擇，你倒不如說說少年白究竟讓你變得多沮喪。

為何不直接穿上一件寫著「我每個月都有去沙龍做銀箔護髮」的衣服，以昭告天下有你多粉味的事實。

你可以關起門來，自己在家裡染髮，但你難道不會因此而把自己鎖在浴室裡，然後把染劑到在你那顫抖地像毒癮發作的手上嗎？

我的建議？讓它變灰白吧。趁你還在年輕的時候盡量白個夠吧。

切記，你很快就不會算是少年白了。人們將也會很快停止對你使用這一個詞。

到時候，你將會有個滿是皺紋又凹陷的眼帶，還有鬆弛的皮膚，亮麗的年輕人將不會去管你的頭髮。只有其他的老人才會。

還有禿子。

By Anderson Cooper

Some call it salt-and-pepper; others call it newfound gravitas. But face it -- your hair is going prematurely gray.

The good news: Losing color doesn't make you an old man. Just don't wear it like Phil Donahue.

Going gray is like ejaculation. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock.

I had brown hair until I was 20. Then the gray began to sprout.
Today, 15 years later, it's spread like some mutant melanin virus and now completely envelops my head.

I still refuse to admit I'm gray. Salt-and-pepper is about all I'll cop to.
Of course, I'm just about out of pepper. We all cling to delusions. This is mine. Leave it alone.

Did you know that according to legend, the guy who became Buddha decided to seek enlightenment the day he got a touch of gray? "Gray hairs," the would-be Buddha said, "are like angels sent by the god of death."

Translation: Gray is nature's way of whispering "You're dying."

I may not like the way my gra... I mean, salt-and-pepper hair looks, but I can't honestly say it's done me any harm.

In the TV news business, gray equals gravitas. In fact, in just about any line of work being prematurely gray is an advantage.

On a guy, gray hair says, "I'm mature, stable. I can be relied on." Think George W. Bush.

Even the Bible promotes the myth. "Gray hair is a crown of glory," one proverb states. "It is gained in a righteous life."

Premature gray means you reap the benefits of living the righteous life without having to actually live the righteous life. You get to cut in line. So consider yourself lucky.
On the other hand, women don't get a free pass.

When was the last time you saw a sexy gray-haired woman in a movie? Rogue and Storm don't count; they're cartoon characters.

"It's not fair," says Diane Harris, a media image consultant, "but men see gray on a woman and they think she's old."

My friend Cathy went gray in her early thirties. She was attractive and successful, but guys backed away.

"Men instantly assumed Birkenstock-wearing, protest-rally-organizing cat lover," Cathy says. "You could see it in their eyes."

Needless to say, Cathy's no longer gray.

For men, of course, it's a different story. I don't get it, but gray on guys drives a lot of folks wild.

Think Bill Clinton. Huge head of gray, not to mention a monster-truck tire around his waist, and he had an intern pizza-delivery service.

There are millions of follicle fetishists out there, and at the first hint of tint they find you and ogle your albino tresses like a hot pair of buns.

The other thing that happens when you start getting gray: You begin checking out every other gray-haired guy.

It's a Darwinian survival response -- the need to check out the competition.

This can deteriorate into something of an obsession. For a while, every time I saw Phil Donahue, I had to reassure myself: It's okay. I'm not as gray as he is.

Note to Phil: Big white hair was fine for the Snow Miser, but again, cartoons don't count.

The most important thing about going gray: Keep it short. Grow it long and all of a sudden you look like a roadie for Peter, Paul & Mary. Not the image you want to go for.

You can, of course, dye. Plenty of guys do, but if you ask me, you might as well advertise your desperation.

Why not just wear a button that says "I sit in a salon once a month with silver foil in my hair"?

You can also try dying your hair at home, but isn't there something sad about habitually locking yourself in the bathroom and doling out dye into your trembling hands like some aging junkie?

My advice? Give in to gray. Make the most of it while you're still young.

Remember, there will come a time in the not too distant future when you're no longer prematurely gray. People will stop using the word distinguished.

By then, you'll have a wattle, baggy eyes and sagging skin, and pretty young things won't even notice your hair. Only other guys will.

Bald guys.